Dear 20 Year Old Me

(Yes, Miss Joni, I stole that title from you, but my content will obviously be from a different perspective...)

If only I'd been around when I was 20. I mean me, the 41 year old. I'd have a few things to say to myself, such as:

*You know far less than you think you do, so stop being so cocky.

*You will always regret THAT stupid thing and THAT stupid thing, etc., so don't do it.

*Stop taking your parents for granted.

*When you become a parent, you will realize how awesome your parents are.

*When you're driving home from the hospital with your first child, you don't need to be afraid that the wheels are going to fall off the car.

*Marriage will not be a gauzy dreamscape like in the movies.

*Marriage will be the most amazing thing you'll ever experience.

*Don't ever be mean to your wife. Ever.

*Don't use that one lady for a realtor when you sell your first house.

*Pray more than you think you should.

*Never let a day slip by without Scripture.

*God is bigger than you've ever imagined.

I wonder what my 80 year old self will have to say?

SIN(s)

I know that I tend to grieve and be troubled over specific instances of sin in my life more than I do over the fact that I am truly and fundamentally a sinNER. Of course I realize that being justified in Christ profoundly and forever changes my identity, but I'm thinking that even though it is a wonderful and beautiful thing to be granted forgiveness for individual transgressions, it is an even greater and more amazing thing to be paroled and pardoned for my entire sinful nature. It's not just that the thief is forgiven for stealing, but is also forgiven for being a thief!

"There is a tendency to think that our sins are bigger than our sin - maybe because it's that rare case of language when the plural is smaller than the singular. Sins are those individual acts of rebellion - symptoms of the bigger problem. Our sin is the bigger problem: it's our condition or state which is in hideous rebellion toward a holy and good God. When Christians feel that sins (acts) are bigger than sin (condition), they see evangelism as an effort of moral reform rather than explaining the steps that need to take place to rip our our wicked hearts and replace them with new hearts - that amazing work of God that Jesus called being born again." ~excerpted from Marks Of The Messenger by J. Mack Stiles.

Our Love Saves Us - Blindside

I am a fan of the Swedish band Blindside, and I'm really liking one of their recent songs, "Our Love Saves Us." It's a declaration of hope and commitment in a relationship (marriage, presumably). So, here it is for your enjoyment! (I'm only so-so about the video, but the song is fantastic)

When Nice Is Sin

Sometimes being "nice" in order to not offend can, in truth, be a sin. When we pull a punch or soft-pedal the Truth (notice the capital "T"), we are, in a very real sense, lying. And we are lying to the potential peril of someone's very soul. I think we (at least I) should begin to see Truth and Compassion as the best of friends. If Jesus was ever harsh with the Truth, it was because He could not, would not, lie.

As fallen creatures prone to self-preservation at any cost, it's vitally necessary that our defenses-turned-dungeons be broken down so that we can see the light of truth burning through the darkness.

"Sentimental love bleeds into the Christian mind in a form of niceness. It's easy to confuse nice with compassion, kindness or love. But nice is not a biblical word. Jesus was extremely un-nice at times, because He wanted to go deeply into people's lives, into their sin with the truth, and that's never nice." ~ J. Mack Stiles, Marks Of The Messenger

I Know What Love Is...

For many, many reasons, I can't fathom loving any other woman than my wife. It's not because I'm the perfect husband, but "I know what love is, Jenny." I wonder sometimes if I'm as faithful to my Savior as I am to my spouse. In The Good News We Almost Forgot, Kevin DeYoung writes about the exclusivity of our relationship with God:

"Loving God is like loving your spouse: When you choose your mate, it is to the exclusion of all others. You can't do both. You can't tell your wife, 'Honey, here's my other lover. I really wanted you to meet. I know you'll be great friends. You both mean so much to me.' Your wife will say, 'It's me or her. You take your pick.'"

My Children Have Done Something "Fowl"

My kids love to give goats and soccer balls and especially chickens through World Vision. Today we gave 5 ducks and 2 chickens, which is almost a paltry little thing to us, but will soon mean a daily supply of protein and vitamins for an impoverished family somewhere on the planet. That's cool. If you have children, or even if you don't, please check out the really neat, easy and sensible opportunities World Vision has to help people in need. I promise your kids will get excited about choosing something to give! From rabbits to mosquito netting to water filters to garden seeds to a Mongolian Ger, there are possibilities to bless no matter what your budget is.

Need Of Grace

When I was younger, I had fanciful dreams about my grown up self:

I imagined I would be the trophy husband, perfect, and adored by my wife.

I imagined that my marriage would be one to write books about.

I imagined that whatever children I had would never be caught up in sin or tempted to stray.

I imagined that my ministry for the Lord would be grand and secretly envied by others.

There was an awful lot of ME in me, back then. And not nearly enough of Christ. Now that I've lived in reality for a while, I know that Christ is all, and all that matters. I know that imperfection, failure, and temptation are the featured flavors of nearly every day.

The following prayer from The Valley of Vision is a sigh of blessed resignation and surrender:

O Lord,
Thou knowest my great unfitness for service,
my present deadness,
my inability to do anything for thy glory,
my distressing coldness of heart.

I am weak, ignorant, unprofitable,
and loathe and abhor myself.
I am at a loss to know what thou wouldest
have me do,
for I feel amazingly deserted by thee,
and sense thy presence so little;

Thou makest me possess the sins of my youth,
and the dreadful sin of my nature,
so that I feel all sin,
I cannot think or act but every motion is sin.

Return again with showers of converting grace
to a poor gospel-abusing sinner.
Help my soul to breathe after holiness,
after a constant devotedness to thee,
after growth in grace more abundantly every day.

O Lord, I am lost in the pursuit of this blessedness,
And am ready to sink because I fall short
of my desire;
Help me to hold out a little longer,
until the happy hour of deliverance comes,
for I cannot lift my soul to thee
if thou of thy goodness bring me not nigh.

Help me to be diffident, watchful, tender,
lest I offend my blessed Friend
in thought and behaviour;
I confide in thee and lean upon thee,
and need thee at all times to assist and lead me.
O that all my distresses and apprehensions
might prove but Christ’s school
to make me fit for greater service
by teaching me the great lesson of humility.