Boys Need Dads Need Boys

Three years ago, my oldest son (then almost 12) and I took a father-son trip to Colorado. We went to the Holy Cross Wilderness area near Minturn and hiked up Notch Mountain for a spectacular view of Mount of the Holy Cross. The real purpose of the journey, however, was to create something special for my son. At the top of Notch Mountain there is a small shelter house built from the surrounding stone. After a pretty strenuous hike all morning, I presented my son with three things: A journal, a knife, and a stone.

The journal contained transcribed letters from some important men in his life: grandfathers, uncles, friends. There were also a few pages from me. We wrote to him about the meaning of manhood and the priority of a God centered life.

The blade of the bone-handled knife was inscribed in Latin on both sides. One side read: Ego et rex meus (I and my God). The other side read: Contra mundum (against the world).

The stone had a very special significance. The previous year, I had taken a solo motorcycle trip to Utah and while I was there I gathered five water-smoothed stones from a stream up in the mountains. Now it just so happens that I have five sons. In my prayers for them, I have often thought of them as the five smooth stones David collected from the stream before facing Goliath. I imagine he intended each one to deliver a death blow to some nasty giant. Kind of in the same way, I pray that God would use each of my boys to scatter bad guys like doubt, compromise, fear, deception and darkness in people's lives. I told my son how that stone represented God's desire to use him to slay giants.

That evening, off the mountain, we had prime rib in Leadville and celebrated the day. The whole trip was hugely meaningful for both of us. I think it has contributed much to the way we communicate and relate to each other even to this day.

Which brings me to this: Within a few weeks, I will be taking my second oldest son on the same trip. I can't wait!

The longer I live and the more people I observe, the more I am convinced of the absolute importance of fathers to sons. Not just that they have one, but that they have one who pays attention to who they are and how they're growing, what they're good at and how they think, what their strengths are and where they're weak. I'm learning also how much I need these boys. They are teaching me so much, or perhaps God is teaching me through them. Either way, I would hate to go through life without them.