Firstborn

Today is the birthday of my oldest son. He was the first of five, and being the first, he has played a crucial role in my life as a father. When Brayden came to be, I became something new, too: I became a father for the first time ever. Normally, one receives a title after earning the proper credentials. Not so with fatherhood. I received the title and then began the work of achieving the credentials. And I must say, I have learned more about being a father from my firstborn son than with any of the others.

Brayden's birth changed my life profoundly. It helped me turn a corner. Or maybe it was a U-turn. What I began to learn with each passing day was that "self" had to die. It was a crummy self anyway and it was nice to see it leaving.

Fatherhood has taught me a myriad of things about the character of God. As my sons grow, I understand better all the time the Fatherly God revealed in Scripture: the Father who is calmly patient, who disciplines for benefit (severely if necessary), who does not tolerate rebellion, who loves and teaches and listens.

The love I feel for my five boys is bigger than I can describe or even understand. It's a mysterious thing. There's not one of them I love more than another; I love each one enormously and I am utterly grateful to the Heavenly Father for giving me the chance to be their father.