So as I'm mowing the lawn a few evenings ago, I begin to think about what I'll leave behind when I'm gone. Strange, I know, but what do you think about when you're cutting grass? I'm not old, nor am I ill, but I do sometimes think about the fact that my life on this earth in its present form is passing fairly quickly. There will be an end to it, one way or another.
And if my mortal body should give out before the Lord's return, I want to know that I'll be leaving something behind for my sons. I'm pretty sure this won't be vast amounts of money, and that's just as well - I would if I could but it all burns up in the end anyway and money can lead to trouble.
What I want to leave behind are stepping stones . . . guideposts . . . handholds. There will be plenty of writing to go through, including my personal journals, this blog, and the individual journals I've been keeping for each of my sons since they were young. Through these they'll have a pretty clear glimpse into how my heart truly feels about them. Through these they'll (hopefully) see a little bit of my journey with God: times of growth, times of drought, times of rejoicing.
There will also be the imprint of my personality. Writing those words makes me chuckle, and you, too, if you know me personally. But, in spite of my quirks and weaknesses, I hope my boys will recall images of a good and Godly man in a happy home. And more importantly, I hope they'll see the obvious link between that and the place God occupies in our home.
There will be other miscellany such as musical tastes, thousands and thousands of photographs, a rich library, trips to the mountains, dumb jokes, and a mother who was loved and cared for deeply.
My boys are everything to me, even if in this flesh I love them imperfectly. They are constantly teaching me about the relationship the Heavenly Father has with His children, and the deep desire He has to teach them and be close to them. What are you planning on leaving behind?
3 comments:
hello my Phil3 brother, I read your post here with a bit of envy and guilt... personal journals for each of your boys!!? wow... now I have to answer the question that runs to my ears.. should I?
I have my three boys and my precious daughter. My oldest will be 16 tomorrow. (what's with some of these kids today... he hasn't even studied his drivers manual yet!) We've had a great several weeks of vacationing together. And now as I come back to engage in the day to day, I read your post here and think... It could easily happen. The Lord called my 'best man' home a few years back. Three little ones and a wife who still struggles to keep on track, though God is faithful, its a hard road. If my Lord were to call me home, should I have spoken into their future? Am I speaking into their present enough??!
So your blog stirred me up a bit to consider my role as 'dad' and spiritual leader... do they know what running hard after Christ looks like and WHY?
What ages are your boys? Do they ride with you?
...I did take a few excursions into the beauty of the NY Adirondacks while on vacation..pretty awesome!
Thanks for your postings.
Hi, Tim -
My oldest boy (out of five) is going to be 16 in November! You and I must be about the same age - young! Yeah, I started keeping a journal of sorts for my firstborn way back when and then as the others were born, I started writing for them as well. It's nothing epic - I have a file for each of them on my computer and once a month or so I sit down and write a few thoughts. Just keeping track of the funny things that happen, the moments of growth, the cool things I'll forget if I don't write them down. It's been good for me to do that; helps keeps me thinking in the right direction about my boys. :) As for riding, we aren't on the road together yet, but the day is coming!
Blessings-
Post a Comment