I've been harboring a grudge. Or at least a bad feeling. Well, I'm not sure I've been "harboring" it, or just trying to figure out what to do with it. Here's the story:
Well over a year ago, when I was yet a member of our local school board, we had to make some really tough decisions regarding budget cuts for our school distirct. One of these decisions involved the closing of one our district's buildings and consolidating students and offices into the remaining buildings. Subsequently, we searched for an occupant who could make use of our empty space and provide us with a little bit of cash flow. There were a few options for prospective lessees, but only one really made sense. As it happened, there was a bit of controversy involving this entity, albeit completely unfounded.
At one point in our decision making process, I had a brief and unexpected run-in with a brother from a neighboring church. What I thought would be a conversation between two believers turned out to be a veiled threat from a City Council member to a School Board member. Sorry, I won't give you the details...
Let it suffice for me to say that from that moment forward, my attitude toward this man changed. I was...baffled, confused, disappointed and stumped. Did he really say that to me? How could he? He's a sensible Christian man! Months after the incident, I still found myself avoiding this man when I saw him in our little town. All I could do was ask the Lord for help. It wasn't right, this thing going on in my heart.
Fast forward to the present. Along with my work in ministry, I work off and on for a friend as a roofer. Guess whose home I replaced the roof on last week? Uh-huh. There was no way around it. There was face time with the man I really didn't want to ever face again. However, there wasn't any discussion about what had been said so long ago. That had been a hit and run, and he might not even remember it. But God had arranged another meeting for the two of us. This fella was going to install new fascia and guttering on his home after we finished with his roof, and happened to wonder out loud where he was going to find some scaffolding to do the high parts. Well, I have access to some scaffolding and found myself offering to arrange for its procurement. I even volunteered to help him put it up.
So, somewhere between him pulling into his driveway with a pickup bed full of scaffolding and the two of us installing the final cross piece 20 feet in the air, we chatted, and the Lord did something in me. And for me. I learned that my brother wasn't a mean-spirited pharisee after all. I learned he was a normal guy - a thankful guy, a humble guy, a good father. He's a guy saved by grace who still does stupid things now and then, a whole lot like the guy I see in the mirror every morning. I still can't explain the uncomfortable conversation the two of us had in the past, but I don't care to. That grudge has sailed away and sunk.
Well over a year ago, when I was yet a member of our local school board, we had to make some really tough decisions regarding budget cuts for our school distirct. One of these decisions involved the closing of one our district's buildings and consolidating students and offices into the remaining buildings. Subsequently, we searched for an occupant who could make use of our empty space and provide us with a little bit of cash flow. There were a few options for prospective lessees, but only one really made sense. As it happened, there was a bit of controversy involving this entity, albeit completely unfounded.
At one point in our decision making process, I had a brief and unexpected run-in with a brother from a neighboring church. What I thought would be a conversation between two believers turned out to be a veiled threat from a City Council member to a School Board member. Sorry, I won't give you the details...
Let it suffice for me to say that from that moment forward, my attitude toward this man changed. I was...baffled, confused, disappointed and stumped. Did he really say that to me? How could he? He's a sensible Christian man! Months after the incident, I still found myself avoiding this man when I saw him in our little town. All I could do was ask the Lord for help. It wasn't right, this thing going on in my heart.
Fast forward to the present. Along with my work in ministry, I work off and on for a friend as a roofer. Guess whose home I replaced the roof on last week? Uh-huh. There was no way around it. There was face time with the man I really didn't want to ever face again. However, there wasn't any discussion about what had been said so long ago. That had been a hit and run, and he might not even remember it. But God had arranged another meeting for the two of us. This fella was going to install new fascia and guttering on his home after we finished with his roof, and happened to wonder out loud where he was going to find some scaffolding to do the high parts. Well, I have access to some scaffolding and found myself offering to arrange for its procurement. I even volunteered to help him put it up.
So, somewhere between him pulling into his driveway with a pickup bed full of scaffolding and the two of us installing the final cross piece 20 feet in the air, we chatted, and the Lord did something in me. And for me. I learned that my brother wasn't a mean-spirited pharisee after all. I learned he was a normal guy - a thankful guy, a humble guy, a good father. He's a guy saved by grace who still does stupid things now and then, a whole lot like the guy I see in the mirror every morning. I still can't explain the uncomfortable conversation the two of us had in the past, but I don't care to. That grudge has sailed away and sunk.
4 comments:
I like this.
Isn't it awesome how God brings around these changes in our hearts- not in grand, loud alterations but in quiet, almost ordinary ways. Sometimes I can't even say where or when the change happened. But I'm so glad that as long as I'm willing, He's always working in me.
And the ordinary seems to be the most hard hitting...I think because we don't expect it. :)
add another 'bad feeling' or grudge as gone between brothers. God's providence is amazing. Thanks.
And I'm so glad He keeps doing it again and again, Tim :) This past Sunday at church our congregation shared communion and I got to thinking how that celebration should help define our relationships. How we all share in the same bread and wine, how we all have a shared connection in Christ, and how that should seriously impact the way we navigate our relationships. It's helping me.
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