A Little Off Balance

Some serious pondering has been going on lately within my cranial space regarding clinical depression, since I've dealt with it off and on for more than 20 years. For me, the effects range from mild gloom to crushing despair and anxiety.

Part of what I've come to understand is that a mental malady is no more unusual than a physical affliction. Many years ago I used to feel almost sinful or faithless when experiencing a bout of serious melancholy. Now I know that my mental predispositions are as common to this fallen world as your grandpa's "trick knee" that would ache when the weather was taking a turn for the worse.

Now obviously, I don't state this flippantly, as if to toss aside the profound impact that depression and anxiety have on a person's life. You can't just take an aspirin and make the pain go away. But for me, there was comfort in the realization and acceptance of the fact that in this train wreck of a world, it's quite normal to be abnormal.

Charles Spurgeon struggled mightily with depression, and drew this conclusion:

As to mental maladies, is any man altogether sane? Are we not all a little off the balance? Some minds appear to have a gloomy tinge essential to their very individuality; of them it may be said, "Melancholy marked them for her own;" fine minds withal, and ruled by noblest principles, but yet most prone to forget the silver lining, and to remember only the cloud. ~ Excerpted from The Minister's Fainting Fits

A blogging friend, Derek Ashton, had this to say on an earlier post on this blog:

It seems to me that "some of us" (creative types!) have a gift imbalance that causes us to see certain things VERY clearly and keenly - but the cost is we're a little, er, shall we say, prone to depression and other ailments (some would just say "crazy"). At times we feel we'd trade the gift for more mental balance. And at other times we wouldn't trade the joys of the gift for ANYTHING! But we have to take the bitter with the sweet. Everyone's area of gifting has a down side associated with it, part of the reason we need each other in the body of Christ. We balance each other and can only reflect Christ properly when we're reflecting Him together. And I'm convinced that people who act like they're not a little crazy sometimes are just faking it.

Indeed, pain is both an obligatory companion in this world, as well as a conduit for learning and blessing, and although God's gifts are perfect, the vessels are still made of clay.

Let me now give glory where glory is due. If the Lord had not been on my side, my life may well have ended by now. God has been so merciful and masterful in my afflictions, revealing to me many important lessons about trust, assurance, endurance and compassion over the years. I hope I'm being a good student.