The 190 Pound Weakling

This weekend a very dear friend and his family were special guests at our church. Brett and Joan Nelson are missionaries to Burundi, and they are currently in the states itinerating. Joan spoke a few words that resonated with me and had me shaking my head in solemn agreement. She related how she had been a Christian "from the womb" but was recently taken aback by some of her nasty sinful nature popping up in her life when confronted with some frustrating circumstances. Arrogance, pride, selfishness and anger had seemed to come out of nowhere.

I was sitting there thinking how true it is that we are not as strong as we think we are. I had been thinking it was just me. Apparently not.

In "The Imitation of Christ" Thomas a Kempis wrote, "[t]his is that which oftentimes strikes me down, and confounds me in Thy sight, that I am so subject to fall, and weak in resisting my passions. And although I do not altogether consent, yet their continued assaulting is troublesome and grievous unto me; and it is exceedingly weary to live thus daily in conflict."

Like my friend Joan, I have been a believer since childhood. It's interesting though, (and often perplexing) how susceptible I am to sin. Yeah, I can look back over my life and attest to the sanctifying, purifying work of the Spirit in my life. I've come a long way with God's help. Yet, in spite of this, I remain weak. Hmm. This is not to say that I live each day in wild abandon to my passions. Not at all. What I am talking about is the ever-present awareness that I am indeed "subject to fall."

Maybe, just maybe, this is a sign of maturity. Not the weakness, but the awareness of weakness. Even Paul celebrated his weaknesses while exulting in God's strength. Which makes me think just now that we have no business seeking strength in ourselves anyway. The more cognizant I am of my own powerlessness, the more I have to joyfully surrender to God.